Project For Awesome Makes Me All Kinds Of Emotional

Perhaps it's due to lack of sleep or that I'm just a generally sappy person but Project For Awesome has made my emotions meter go haywire.

Just seeing the thumbnails made me smile. Maureen Johnson made me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe. The Uncultured project made me cry, but tears of joy. The comments section of all the videos gave me this unexplainable feeling of belonging.

And now it's over and my body doesn't know how to react, so I am letting my mushy brain do the talking here. Bear with me guys, I just have to get it all out. Some people have stories about when they first found God, and he's pretty cool too, but this story is more dear to my heart than that one.

Valentine's Day 2010 will mark a very special day for me. It will be officially 2 years I have been a Nerdfighter. And for me it's sort of hard for me to explain to other people what that means. Most years Valentine's Day is not exactly a happy time for me. I have never had that somebody to love on a day centered all around L-O-V-E. No matter how many times I tell myself it's just a greeting card holiday it doesn't make me feel any less lonely on that day.

So on that day of pink & red in 2008 I found myself sitting at a computer screen zombie-ing out on YouTube. I am not one of those old school I knew about YouTube before it was cool kind of people. Before 2005 I had never owned a computer, I only had the ones at my Dad's school to use. I figured out that more than just kitties and Soulja Boy to YouTube at the beginning of my senior year of high school in 2007. (Yeah, I'm old. Sorry to shock you but I'm not actually of "young adult" reading age.)

My senior year, while nice, was kind of my point of most lonely. When I moved here (Saint Louis, MO) from Columbia, IL my sophomore year I didn't expect that moving just a short 15 minute drive away would completely separate me from the few mediocre friends I had in Columbia. Lucky for me I made some AWESOME friends pretty much right away. And things were great except they were seniors and I was not, meaning in a year I would be all alone at my high school.

Junior year I hung in there at school because I still saw my friends almost every weekend. I had school friends, they just never seemed to be as awesome as my older friends. When senior year hit though, things sort of started to get distant. Friends got boyfriends while I remained single. So on those weekend nights when I was home alone I discovered YouTube. I made an account (Thus being why my youtube account does not match my blog name.) but never posted videos instead preferring to let the likes of Valentina (Val's Art Diary), Michael Buckley (What The Buck) and London Anderson (london09) entertain me.

And then February 14th hit and I all of a sudden felt connected to something. I have Julia Nunes to thank for that. I would sound cheesy if I said Julia Nunes saved my life, but in some ways she really did. Because that day I felt more down in the dumps than I have ever felt and just seeing this video made me smile. It made me feel not so alone. So you want to know my favorite Julia Nunes cover ever, just click it.

TECHNICALLY Julia didn't mention John Green and the vlogbrothers until a few months later on April 25th (A few days after my birthday, what a nice belated present it was.) but just watching her videos I think my heart already knew I was a nerdfighter my brain just needed some time to catch up.

Within 3 days of discovering the vlogbrothers I had watched all of their videos. I didn't just like them I LOVED THEM. (Obscure Stick It reference and if you get it you are made of so much win.) And I went out and bought both of John's books and I not so patiently awaited the day Paper Towns came out. I even almost flew to Boston to see both Julia & the vlogbrothers during the Tour de Nerdfighting (a decision I will forever regret not making). But instead I saw John & Hank (and the Katherine) when they visited us here in the Lou. That was the epic day that I gave all of the Green family (including Sarah, Katherine, Sydney & Mike) t-shirts I had made for them (Yes, I did make the "My Wife Is A Yeti" shirt for John, it is my claim to nerdfighter fame).

And in some bout of craziness on December 5th 2008 I decided to make a blog. This very blog. This blog has opened up doors for me I never thought it could. I have made so many friends via this blog and twitter and youtube that I can't even express my gratitude for. My online friends have been there for me when my IRL friends were sucky (They really aren't so bad. They have matured, so have I and we have all sort of had to get used to this growing apart thing.) I talk to people whom I have never met, but love with all my heart, almost every day. I talk to my favorite authors almost every day. I flew to New York City and hosted an even where more than 30 authors and over 100 fans. At that event I met online friends who I never thought I would have the opportunity to meet. I have dreams that may never come true, but they are big dreams and I'm not going to stop dreaming them. I have felt more comfortable in my own skin than ever before.

I just want to thank you. All of you. Whether you are a nerdfighter, a blog follower, Julia Nunes, a vlogbrother, my twitter buddy, a tumblr addict, or one of those skype friends who get me through my rough periods. You have made my life so much more than I ever thought it could be. (Yeah, I'm crying right now. Silly emotions.)

And during this year's Project For Awesome I just really realized how big and awesome this community I am a part of really is. People who stayed up and committed time to make charity the forefront of youtube, I give you a piece of my heart. You make me proud to say I am a NERDFIGHTER.

Now enough with the emotional, here are my favorite videos from Project For Awesome this year...











Ok, thanks for listening to me ramble. Love you guys, and if you're sick of dancing alone I'll come dance with you.